And by “a while”, I mean it’s been almost three years since I published my last blog post.
In that time I must have started a dozen posts with words to that effect, only to abandon them. Why might this one be any different?
One issue is that blogging is usually low on my list of priorities. That’s particularly true right now, as the list also includes a full-time job, a part-time masters degree, a long-term relationship, friends, and several absorbing and time-consuming hobbies. (To be honest, overthinking and procrastinating tend to take precedence anyway.)
In theory, having a lot on gives me a lot to write about, but that feeds into another issue: there are too many things I want to write about. That inevitably means I don’t write anything at all.
I also want to take this opportunity to blame my partner of seven years for listening to me ramble and rant about any topic. How am I meant to maintain a consistent online presence when he keeps doing that?
Having said all that, things are generally a bit different at the moment. (And that’s a bit of an understatement.) I’m lucky in many ways, mainly that I’m able to work full-time from a home that is safe and comfortable, with no dependants to worry about. I’ve also had twenty years of practice in dealing with mental health issues – in many ways it feels like they’ve improved while I’ve been in lockdown. (It seems I’m not alone in this.)
Over the last couple of months I’ve been much more able to tackle long-standing projects at home. Obviously I’m still not up to the standard of a normal person, but without my regular schedule I’ve had more space to think and try new things. I’ve been more able to have ideas and act on them, rather than sitting on them for months and building them up into massive projects in my head, when in reality they take minutes to plan and execute. This has helped me get over some of my perfectionism as well.
Of course, none of that solves the terrible issue of my partner listening to me too much. At the same time, writing engages something different in my brain that I’ve definitely missed over the last three years.
I have more to say, but I’m leaving that for another post, instead of trying to put everything in this one and never finishing it as a result. Hopefully the next one won’t take another three years!